Top 10 Things I've Said That Windows Vista Has Mistaken For Other Things

The first word/phrase is what I said. The second is what Windows put down.

1. Shut up already - Republican

2. Hello there - Hitler

3. My intentions were good. - My intestines were good.

4. Beautiful - Booty gull

5. (A sneeze) - Screw you

6. Spoonerism - Booming licks

7. Colbert - Jesus

8. (Laughing uncontrollably at number 7 while little brother said, "What's that?") - Admission to suck what cat

9. President Bush - Resident Tush

10. Government - Covered shame

Top 10 Quotes That Make Me Laugh

For some of them, I remember who said what and thusly credited them.

1. Give me one of those love smoothies.

2. That bug was bigger than God. It was a mountain! ..................wait. ~Yuan

3. My last wishes? I would like a cold beer and a stripper. Both of them preferably blonde. ~JL

4. Don't deflower my panda! (I have no idea why or how I remember this.)

5. Mom, it's okay. He's nice, polite, AND he's white and Republican.* ~Marianne

6. Where'd this milk come from? Christie? (Nope) Charlotte? (Not me) Did it come from.....God? (cue angels singing and sun shining) ~Heather

7. ....and then the test results came back and no, I didn't have a cold, I had an STD. Then I had to tell my mother and she started screaming at me for being a manwhore. And then a week later I looked at the test results again and realized that they weren't /my/ test results, they were my mother's.

....So I had a nice fall break. ~Ying

8. I'll even miss the potatoes. ~Hannah (I remember the most random things)

9. Nietzche is dead. ~God (If you get this you are a nerd.)

10. So I grabbed my sister's bra, put it on, and put oranges in them and bounced up and down...because I was curious, you know, about how it felt like....and then my sister walked into my room. ~Perry T.

*I noticed that a disproportionate number of my notes involves Republicans. I must secretly be in love with them or something. D: