Upcoming Topics

  • Homosexual Disreperancies
  • "You're like, stupid. Don't you know that Christianity and Catholicism are two different, you know, religions?"
  • Makeup controversy
  • Top 10 Bible Pick-up Lines
  • Koalas, and their bear-killing powers
  • Flouncing
  • Daily Routine (for my ABBers!)

Friday, October 24, 2008

What happened?

I had this friend in elementary school, who I'll call Natalie (for anonymity). She was a really pretty, sweet girl that all the teachers absolutely adored. Stereotypical description? Yes, but she truly was like that. Very nice, and always cheerful.

In 3rd grade our school split into two feeders, so I didn't see her until this year in 11th grade. At first I didn't recognize her, because she had changed so much. But gradually, as she began talking about her boyfriend, we realized that we had been friends eight years ago.

She'd changed so much. About three days each week during lunch hour, she goes out of school to get stoned in her car. She's been to juvenile once, and her personality has completely changed. It's not like she grew up in some ghetto area of town - her parents, I remember, were upper middle class and I remembered them to be rather nice as well.

I'm not saying that Natalie, in any way, is a horrible person. She's still nice, though now she's extremely inclined to violence when she loses her temper. She's addicted to three kinds of drugs. This is not the kind of person I, or any of our elementary teachers, would have imagined for her. If anything, I should have been the child that grew up a stoner. I had so many behavioral problems, never listened, and was so socially inept that my first-grade teacher suggested my mom to put me in this sort of special education course at school for problematic children. My mother never did.

I turned out to be okay. I'm not a perfect student, but I actually pay attention in class, I have a lot of friends, and I'm generally regarded as some goody-two-shoes, which Natalie was before.

I'm just wondering - what happened?

Not that it's one specific event, but how did our supposed roles switch like this? In some ways, Natalie has already made it difficult for herself to succeed in later life, what with the marks on her records and her barely-passing grades. It sometimes makes me sad when I think of her (and then I feel bad for feeling sad >.>) and just how things have changed over eight years. Is it that somehow, society has failed on her? Could there have been a moment where there should have been help, but it never came?

It makes me frustrated because of this. I know I'm probably superextending the issue, but because of Natalie, I've tried to be there when my friends look upset, instead of edging away and letting them work through their own problems. I don't want the cumulative effect of not being there to eventually negatively affect the ones I love.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

A Significant Add-on

I was talking to a friend, Jake, in the hallway today, lounging around before school started. I don't remember what exactly we were talking about, but the topic of us both being atheists popped up. A nearby student overheard us, and joined in our conversation.

Even though I've encountered my share of the crazier religious people, I was still surprised to see somebody my age so deeply entrenched in Christianity and his bigoted attitude toward not only those that are atheists and agnositcs, but of other religions as well (I found this out after relating the following conversation to a Buddhist friend). Normally, I get the "It's okay if you're not Christian, as long as you're religious" approach, but this was completely different. He nearly started attacking my friend and me.

Unfortunately, the student picked the absolute worst people he could have chosen to argue with, because my friend and I were both exhausted from studying, and are rather laid back and don't provoke easily though Jake began to get (to my amusement) more and more irritated today.

Me: blah blah blah atheist blah blah
Him: You're atheist?
Me: Yup.
Jake: Me too.
Him: You know you're going to go to Hell for that, right?
Me: I don't really believe Hell exists, so....you might as well be telling me that I'm going to Azkaban or Mordor for the rest of my life.
Him: You're denying the truth.
Jake: (shoots rays of apathy) If we are, why is is such a big deal to you?
Him: Just telling you that you're making a bad decision here.
Me: Oh, okay. Thank you for telling us.

*awkward silence on his part*

Him: Have you ever been to church?
Me: Yes, I've gone from first grade to fifth grade.
Him: And yet you're still not Christian?
Me: Yup.
Him: I'm telling you you're going to regret that for the rest of your life. When you die, you're never going to be able to enter Heaven at all.
Jake: (under his breath) And you are?
Me: Please don't try to convince me to be Christian using arguments that I don't believe exist.
Him: There should honestly be a commandment against not being a Christian.
Jake: There should also be a commandment against being an annoying idiot.
Him: You shouldn't insult me. (This was the oddest thing I've heard as a rebuttal, but to the poor kid's credit, his only arguments to support himself seemed to be "You're going to Hell", and he was running out of repetition power.)
Jake: In that case, don't insult me by believing that I'll listen to your stupidity.

After this, the kid had his own moment of awkward silence, and walked away. Jake and I began to talk about how random his butting in had been, and Jake said, "He should be able to believe what he believes, and I should be able to believe what I believe. And then everybody should stop bugging each other about it."

I agree with that point, but with an add-on.

People should be able to believe what they believe, and not let that affect others in what those others perceive as a negative way.

I'm not completely against religion - I've seen it help people, and raise their self-esteem and just generally make them happier with life. I've seen agnostics who, after Christian friends worked their influence, became religious. I'm really fine with pamphlet-passing and Bible-giving, and though it can get kind of annoying on occasion, it's never hurt me physically or mentally.

What I'm against is violence caused by religion, or constant harassment in extreme ways to start going to church. A kind suggestion, a couple of flyers - I'm perfectly fine with that because I realize that Christians get something from their religion and want to spread the goodness. After all, if I encountered something that bettered my life, I'd like to share it too. What I'm against is when they try forcibly for you to take this "goodness", because religion isn't for everybody. Whereas it helped my best friend rebuild his life, it created a huge strain on one of my other friends before she became atheistic. There are limitations to human beings, and one of them is the extent of belief. If we are doubters, then don't punish us for being that way. I'm rather sure that Christians don't want to be punished for being Christian, either.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Top 10 Quotes That Make Me the Best Set-Up

After a particularly embarrassing conversation with Robby, he mentioned that I was probably the best set-up for "that's what she said jokes", and listed a few instances. And then after recounting this incident to another friend, he told me that I say things without thinking and they often come out painfully comic. So, here is a tribute to my naivete.

1. (referring to a sine graph set on radians, which Kevin helped me set up.) "Wow, why is it so long? And big."

2. (referring to boba latte) "I like the ones with the big balls."

3. (referring to odd stains on my backpack) "There's weird white crusty splotches on it."

4. (after saying number 3 and being roundly laughed at, Robby mentions that the splotches aren't white, but rather red. And I go on to say...) "Well, it was certainly white last night."

5. (referring to a kind of clay) "You have to rub it for a very long time. And if you do it right, it'll harden up pretty quickly."

6. (playing with my friend's knitted creation) "I thought you said it would be stiffer. It feels kind of floppy to me."

7. (referring to a piano technique) "In this instance, it's better to slide your fingers slowly over it, one by one."

8. (when asked what was the ruckus down the hall) "I'm not too sure. I heard a lot of banging on the wall and shouting though."

9. (My friend and I were sucking on lolipops - yeah, I know - and he finishes way before I do.) "Dang, your tongue is fast."

10. (referring to the different sizes of the basketballs) "Why are all the black balls two times bigger than the others?"

Saturday, October 11, 2008

An old friend

In two years' time, I will go to university and begin my life as an adult. With this transition I will forever leave the house, but more importantly, I will forever leave a memory.

There is little at home that I left an imprint on. My name is written in tiny letters on my bathroom window, and written again on the bottom of our sofa. But these imprints are insignificant, and when I look at them I remember only moments of boredom. The only object in the house that I can call my own in terms of emotion, in terms of memory, would be my piano.

Out of my carelessness, and then out of habit, I very rarely took the trouble to wipe it down. The thousand fingerprints were a source of all my teachers' aggravation, but now it serves as an album. I can see a faded smear of my elementary-school hand across the piano cover, left from when I opened the piano for the first time and heard the full colors of each note. On one of the glossy black legs there is a double print of my little brother's and my fingers, pressed there when I joined him to play underneath the piano. The lid has lost its lustre, and is dulled under seven years' worth of prints from lifting and closing. There are a 9-year-old's prints smudged next to a 16-year-old's prints. Hundreds of piano pieces have been played into the strings, their echo in my memory. I can sit at the bench and reach for the keys, as I have done for over ten years, and feel the songs in my fingers.

The piano, by now, is my oldest friend. I must leave it behind when I go to university, and with it, lose a bastion of memories. I will feel the presence of it fade away from my hands until it becomes, finally, only a reminder of my childhood.

"HELP! My son is emo and turning gay! What to do?!?!"

Have a laugh.

I certainly did!

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

It's almost sad.

This is a conversation I had with a classmate that began over the answers on her test. I've kept the basic subject matter and words exchanged, but naturally, my ego and her astounding stupidity made me emphasize the difference between our brain functioning.

But she did talk like a valley girl, so much so that I was seriously concerned over whether she was doing it on purpose.

Me: Good job! You got a 90.
Her: *looks at her paper* Wait....but I got this question right.
Me: No, the answer was "Christianity and Islam."
Her: Okay, I'll admit that "Catholicism" wasn't right then...because Christianity and Catholicism are two different religions...but like, Islam and Muslim is the same thing.
Me: *falter* Er. Firstly, Catholicism is a part of Christianity - they're not separate entities, and besides, the correct sect would have been Protestantism. Secondly, Islam is a religion, and Muslim is a person that believes in Islam.
Her: *skeptical* Ummm....what are you saying? I'm Catholic. I know that they're two separate en - enet - tits - thingies.
Me: I'm an atheist, so I don't go to church and all that, but at least I know that they're not separate.
Her: Er, you kind of admitted that you know nothing about religion, so why do you think you're right?

My atheist classmates start listening to me here, a little shocked to be hearing this.

Me:.....being an atheist means that I don't believe in a God or affiliate with a religion, but it doesn't mean I don't know anything about the Bible or religious history. The basic facts are that Christianity existed for a very long time before Martin Luther came along sometime before the Renaissance, objected against the Church, and "protested" against paying for indulgences and whatnot. The Church was pissed and the two groups separated into Catholicism and Protestantism.
Her: Um, is this some kind of joke?
Me: I - I'm sorry, what?
Her: Martin Luther lived in the 1900's. That's after the Renaissance, right? And he did civil rights and stuff, not religion.
Me: (At this point, I'm struggling not to stab myself with the pen I'm holding.) No, that's a different Martin Luther. But the point is that Catholicism and Protestantism are under the umbrella of Christianity, like rabbits and dogs are under the umbrella of mammals.
Her: Okay, whatever. Stop making stuff up. It's so obvious that you're wrong.
Me: No, you can go look it up.
Her: And prove you wrong. Do you have something against me or what that I'm Christian?
Me: *can't wait to move away from Texas* No, no way. One of my best friends is devoutly Protestant, and the other is super Catholic. (And my third best friend is hardcore atheist.)
Her: Sure they are. But anyway, I don't see how Islam and Muslim matter.
Me: The question asked to which religions did the Parthenon serve through history. Muslim can't be an answer because it's the people, and everybody should know this since the terms have become more commonplace after 9/11. That's why you can't get credit for it...since it's kind of common sense.
Her: Oh my God, this is so unfair. I'm taking this to the teacher. Stupid atheists.

-Our teacher is Catholic, and has mentioned so a couple of times.-

The Teacher: Sorry, I can't give you points back. This stuff should be obvious.
Her: *pouts*
The atheists in the room: *triumphant*
People who hate her in the room, ergo, everybody: PWNED.

Sunday, October 5, 2008

"I want a boob job! Let's kill your mom!"


Saturday, October 4, 2008

Overheard Conversation: Boobs

These were two very straight and very masculine guys I overheard. And a random but awesome girl.

Guy: You've got manboobs.
Dude: Look who's talking.
Guy: (pokes his chest) I know. They've been getting pretty big.
Dude: I think you might need a bra.
Guy: Not as much as you do. You're probably a C at this point.
Dude: (fondles his boob thoughtfully) Yeah, you're probably right.
Guy: I mean, you're bigger than most of the girls at our school.
Random Girl: Really? (Grabs herself and Dude's left manboob to compare) Oh my god, you're right. (Squeezes once or twice)
Dude: I'm going lingerie shopping tomorrow now.
Guy: I'm coming with you.
The Bus Driver: (snorts)

Friday, October 3, 2008

Morbidly Funny

I've edited the conversation a bit to make it flow a bit better, but this conversation allegedly happened. If you don't get the humor at first, then say the first line aloud.

Taylor: I want to try Bawls.
Dad: You want to try what?
Taylor: You know...Bawls...the energy drink.
Dad: Oh thank God.
Taylor: (dot dot dot)
Dad: I thought I raised you wrong for a moment.
Taylor: (dot dot dot)
Dad: I was about to get my gun.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Can I have some help with this?

I want to know if these shoes would be permissible in PESH school dress code.

If so.........8D 8D 8D

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Top 10 ELF Gripes/I want to be a hooker for Halloween now.

When I got home, I noticed I had an email advertising "50% Off Lips", which is a tragically grammatically incorrect sentence. It sounds like somebody's waiting for you at the door with an ax, ready to chop off your suckaa. Or having $28496 worth of Botox being siphoned away from your lips.

ANYWAY, I clicked on the email.

And I was greeted with this absurdity:


1. All my fellow ABBers, y'all know how sucky elf's pigmentation is. I'm pretty sure that if you slapped yourself in the face, it would give you more color than an entire cake of elf blush. Do you honestly believe that they used elf products in this? I remember sometime a while back, somebody posted pictures on their blog that both elf and a more respected makeup line was using as their look advertisements. =/ DISHONESTY, NATCH.

2. Look at her jawline. Obviously the makeup artists at elf aren't good enough to match her face color to her neck. Or, she has a beard. How sexy.

2. That's not a "healthy glow", that's a face that's been dipped into a vat of Crisco.

3. Her blush extends past her temples. However, I must now complement the elf MA's if they were trying to imitate a nasty sunburn. It looks quite realistic, I must say.

4. If viewed on a dim screen, her face goes entirely black, except for the insane highlight on her browbone. It's ridiculously bright and screams out at me like a lighthouse ready to rape somebody.

5. Why is it showing us the lipstick's ass there? Don't get me wrong; I have nothing against ass. But that is not ass that I would want to - or could - tap.

6. I realize that in some instances, raccoon eyes are sexy. This is not one of those times. She looks like a 50's housewife that's just been punched in the face.

7. Elf lippies are a joke. They smell odd and they stay on for the nanosecond that the brush touches your lips. Then they evaporate into the air, never to be seen again. It's like elf has found the magic behind Harry Potter's invisibility cloak and applied it to all their lippies.

8. The incredibly deep pigmentation of her eyeshadow in no way matches the quality of elf's eyeshadow, unless you take the entire pan and rub your eye vigorously with it.

9. They forgot to clean up the photoshop lines.

10. Elf is already cheap, so if you make the lippies cheaper...I'm pretty sure at this point you could cleave a penny in half and get your worth.

But on another note, this has inspired me to be a hooker for Halloween. I mean, who doesn't want to look like a caked-on face sweaty from hours of crappy sex? It's obvious that this gorgeous woman is supposed to be my role model and that I should follow her steps into great hooker-dom.

But I'll be sure to use NARS when I do.