Top 10 Reasons My Brother is the Perfect Asian Child

*he is 7 years old, by the way.

1. A few days ago, he peeked over my shoulder, and after a moment of intense 1st-grade concentration, he said, "Sis...you got number one wrong. It's fourteen, not eighteen." And I sat there, dumbfounded that my little brother taught himself the principles of negative numbers (also, how the hell did I get -21 + 7 wrong?).

2. I was reading TIME magazine lazily on the couch when he prances (he does this, and it's terrifying) over and plops next to me. A few seconds later, he says with perfect pronunciation, "Why does that old guy hate Guantanamo Bay?"

3. He beat me in a round of Big Two/Thirteen/Chinese Poker 6-2.

4. He beat me in a round of chess, in which I had 4 pieces left and he had 10.

5. He beat Yuan in a round of chess. Yuan, as in Yuan Tao. And that girl is my definition of genius.

6. He knows what delectable, nefarious, and fabulous means. I'm a little worried as to how he thinks fabulous is the most fabulous word ever, and parades it around a lot.

7. He knows how to make custard.

8. He finished one face of my Rubik's cube, with the layers in the right place.

9. He actually tries to speak Chinese.

10. He went up to my mom and said, "I love you more than Sister does. I love you more than Daddy does. I love you more than both of them plus both of them times two." A minute later, he said, "Can I watch TV?"